Disclaimer: This blog entry contains satirical humor. If you do not have a sense of humor, I recommend not proceeding past this point.
Last week news broke that a company based in Idaho released a product designed to eradicate radical Islam and act as a deterrent for terrorism. “Peace through pork,” the website proclaimed, and I couldn’t agree more. The first thing that comes to the mind of this patriotic American when envisioning peace in the world is pork indeed! Apparently there has been a real problem with eradicating radical Muslims in the traditional manner, as Muslims seem to be immune to lead bullets and until recent advancements in science, it was not known that a pork-infused bullet would solve this major problem. Now thanks to Jihawg ammo, the United States is safe from strains of radical Islam!
That previous paragraph may seem a bit outrageous, almost an exaggeration of the truth. Although I penned that paragraph in satire, it is not as far from the truth as I would hope. As can be seen from the official website, jihawg.com, Jihawg ammunition is designed to bring peace through pork as it is the only ammunition in the world that provides a peaceful and natural deterrent to radical Islam. First and foremost, it the idea of any type of ammunition or weaponry provides a peaceful deterrent to any problem is absurd to say the least. Peace comes through non-violent means, the claims the makers of this ammunition make degrades Muslims to less than human and blankets Islam as a radical religion. Secondly, it is quite obvious that the makers of this product are not only stretching their imaginations, but are very clearly ignorant of the difference between a Muslim eating pork and being in the presence of pork. Take the following except for example:
A natural deterrent that prevents violence just by owning it but will strike fear into the hearts of those bent upon hate, violence and murder. Jihawg Ammo is certified “Haraam” or unclean. According to the belief system of the radical Islamist becoming “unclean” during Jihad will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven. Jihawg Ammo is a natural deterrent to radical and suicidal acts of violence.
Never the less, perhaps the makers of Jihawg ammunition are on to something… Maybe Muslims manage to escape death unless exterminated with appropriate means. Vampires need a stake to the heart, werewolves need a silver bullet, and now thanks to a couple of Idaho geniuses, we have discovered the Muslim kryptonite, pork-infused bullets. Thank you to the makers of Jihawg for keeping America safe from radical Islam… the only question is who will keep American safe from those that think violence brings about peace?